rainfall and thunder

The tears flow

the waters wash

memories

stories

pain

what was never said

dear grandmother

with this visit

I feel the constriction 

in the throat

you were beautiful

you ran

and climbed trees 

like I did

you fed my mother's dance

making angels in the snow

beating your wings

in the cold and ice

beat beat beat

like the heart beat of life

in the ice

frozen words 

perhaps never spoken

for you too were a girl

and we all know

the risks that come with that

alone alone alone

you made it

you became a nurse

your ghosts haunted you

and silenced you

in your nightmares

but you made the best

shu-fly pie

the best

pumpkin bread

in minniapolis you insisted I drink milk

I hated milk

my mother lived her life

in search of the stories

that were silenced in your throat

she found goddesses who 

could take wrath 

kali innana 

she tried to run from your silence

to a distant coast

she marched for women's equal rights

yes the right to speak to voice to call out STOP

as these tears wash wash wash

down my cheeks

I hope they sooth your throat

your body

your soul

grandfather's voice was low and strong and soothing

it promised so much

such a seductive radio voice

and yet he was cruel (and brilliant)

in his own ways

the happiest days were when he was away 

and you played with your two daughters throwing snowballs

I hope you climb to the very tops of the trees in the sky

I hope you will make snow angels

in the clouds 

and when it is time to rain

I hope your rains will fall fall fall

replenishing the earth

with the music of rainfall and thunder

                    —Lorena Wolfman